Music for the Soul
Over the past few days, we have celebrated and prayed for those who have passed on from this life with All Saints Day and All Souls Day (or the Day of the Dead). If you have lived on planet earth for more than a few years, you have inevitably had the poignant experience of losing a loved one or close friend. As an oncologist, helping patients and their families navigate this journey to the end of mortal life is one of the most important elements of my vocation. Those we have lost are always with us, but this time of year offers us a chance to more formally honor their memories and pray for their eternal peace.
Something that has always struck me to the core is how music can stir up such memories of lost loved ones in the most visceral way. Have you ever welled up unexpectedly with tears when a song plays on the radio that reminds you of someone special? The deep emotions of sorrow and loss, joy and gratitude, longing and peace wash over you as you are overcome by remembrance. I consider these moments a blessing, a way to honor a loved one in a unique manner, with a memory that connects through the soul rather than through the mind.
It is not so surprising that music touches our being in a special way. It seems that music is hardwired into our very souls. I recall reading that the development of music and singing may have predated the development of formal language by our ancient ancestors. Surely, music is not just reserved for us here on earth. The set of 150 Psalms from the Bible, which are some of the most widely prayed verses in Judaism and Christianity, are all hymns (songs of prayer) expressing the full range of human emotions to God. One of history’s greatest thinkers, St. Augustine, is attributed with saying (or at least inspiring) the quote “He who sings, prays twice.” We learn from the Bible that music may very well be the language of heaven. A chorus of angels sing praise at the birth of the baby Jesus with “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace among men with whom he is pleased (Luke 2:14).” St. John’s vision of heaven in the Book of Revelation describes the angels, elders, and multitude of saints continuously singing hymns of praise “Holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty” and “Hallelujah” before the throne of God.
We speak to convey information, but we sing to connect our soul with things greater than ourselves. Indulge me to share three stories about songs and synchronicities linked to personal memories. You very likely have similar stories yourselves. One recent evening, my wife and I were listening to a music playlist and the song “Orange Sky” by Alexi Murdoch began to play. This song was popular around the time that my sister-in-law was going through chemoradiation for a cancer that would ultimately take her life at far too young an age. It always reminds my wife of the times they spent together, especially as she accompanied her sister through her treatments. We both shared tears and laughter as we played the song over and over that evening, the lyrics resonating with missing a lost sibling. As if to console us, right on cue, the evening’s sunset caught us by surprise with a deep orange sky (see photo above). She was with us.
A second memory is the song “Angela” by The Lumineers, which recalls one of the saddest days of my life at the funeral of my college roommate and dear friend, who also left this earth much too early from cancer. This haunting tune was one of his new favorite songs played by his family at the funeral ceremony. I had never heard the song before, but for some reason, it penetrated my very being and became linked with my friend’s memory and the innumerable blessings that we shared. I listened to it over and over as I grieved. Years later, it resurfaced again in the most unexpected way, on the overhead music playing in a department store of all places, when I was meeting my other college roommates for our first reunion together without our departed friend. It felt surreal. Our friend was with us indeed.
A final story is that of my aunt who passed away from a cancer that left her unable to speak. She loved the red bird cardinal, and thought that seeing a cardinal in nature was God’s way of reminding her of a departed loved one. As she was living her final days on hospice, my brother had a song about her and her red birds materialize into his head nearly fully written. He quickly recorded all the parts to the “Red Bird” song over 2 days, most of which were first takes, and mailed off a copy of the song to my aunt. She got to hear her song shortly before she left this earth, unable to move or say anything but acknowledging the gift with a tear rolling down her cheek. Our family has this song to treasure her memory every time we play it (and every time we see a cardinal) and to recall that she is with us. (https://steffanmaymusic.com/album/1336742/red-bird-lookin-for-a-sign)
So in this season of honoring and remembering all souls, take a few minutes to quietly listen to a loved one’s favorite piece of music or a song that reminds you of them. Say a prayer to them and for them, as surely as they are doing the same for you. Cherish the intimate connection that we maintain with the “great cloud of witnesses” and “communion of saints” that are with us and all around us. Sometimes it just takes music for the soul, the language of heaven, to remind us that they are never really gone from us.
