Mercy
In the last post, we talked about change and new beginnings. For those occasions when change is unexpected or unwanted, there can be a natural tendency to judge ourselves and others. If only I ate better or exercised more (or stopped smoking, or spent less time baking in the sun), maybe I wouldn’t have gotten this cancer. Maybe I’m being punished for something that I did. I can’t believe you let this happen to me. It’s my doctor’s fault or my boss’s fault or the government’s fault. “Those” people are ruining everything for me. Scapegoating abounds when we are hurt or frustrated or feel powerless and out of control. The world has found itself lately in the unenviable state of taking offense and lashing out at even the smallest slight.
In these circumstances, I believe it is helpful to recall the virtue of mercy. Mercy is compassionate forgiveness. We typically think of being merciful as something we offer towards others who have offended or hurt us. But mercy can just as easily be extended towards ourselves. This is not to say that we should hold ourselves or others blameless, but rather that we should be eager to extend compassionate forgiveness to foster healing and reconciliation. It may be something as simple as offering a merciful thought to the rude person that cut you off in traffic or jumped ahead of you in line. They’ll never know it, but you will. Or it may be something as hard as forgiving a bully that deeply and enduringly affected your psyche and self-esteem. They may never know it, but you will. Or perhaps it is something even more difficult like letting go of the shame and associated self-loathing of a life-altering mistake that you made. Offering yourself this mercy is a move that you will never regret.
This attitude of mercy allows us to learn and grow and move forward in our new circumstances. It gives us the power to shed baggage and regain a sense of freedom for our futures. It opens our hearts back up to make spiritual progress on our journey towards God. As Saint Faustina Kowalska of Poland, one of the great teachers on mercy in the history of Christianity, instructs: “Mercy is the greatest attribute of God.” The Old Testament Psalmist affirms this repeatedly as well, “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in mercy.”
We have to be merciful towards ourselves and those around us. A regular habit of mercy can change our view of the world, and brighten our whole outlook on life. What would the world look like if we each decided to try on a little mercy for size? Another thought…we may feel like we don’t have much to offer the world, especially when things are in turmoil or life knocks us down. The gift of mercy is something we all have the ability to give, no matter our circumstances. And what a life-giving gift to give someone and yourself. Give it a try!
