Overcoming Fear with Love
Fear is a prime motivator in all of our lives. Certainly from an evolutionary perspective, fear dominates behavior as well as memory. We are much more likely to remember every detail of the hike where we encountered the grizzly bear, rather than the hundreds of other peaceful safe strolls we took through the woods. That one scary altercation with a stranger on the street while visiting a new town does more to influence our first impression than the ten friendly folk who smiled and waved while passing by. As a patient, the one abnormal lab result or scan finding preoccupies our mind more than all that is “otherwise normal.” Why is this? Because we are hard-wired to avoid the danger that can harm or even kill us. The good stuff in life is a bonus as far as evolution is concerned. Fear keeps us safe and helps us protect ourselves from all the dangers that lurk in the shadows. It is the innate survival instinct.
If fear is such a powerful motivator, how can we hope to overcome this? I offer a quote from a wise campus minister that really stuck with me: “The real battle in our heart is love versus fear.” Love versus fear? At first blush, those two things don’t seem to be naturally opposed to each other. Can’t a parent be afraid of something bad happening to their child and out of love want to keep their child safe? I think the key to understanding this battle is the effect that love and fear have on the heart. Fear closes down the heart, while love opens up the heart. Fear looks inward, while love looks outward. Fear is self-protective, while love is self-giving. Fear creates negative feelings within us, while love generates the most positive feelings one can experience in life. Fear is what prevents us from being who we are meant to be. Love propels us to do things beyond what we imagined possible.
Perhaps this is why phrases like “Fear not” and “Do not be afraid” are some of the most repeated commands in the Bible, appearing more than a hundred times. God speaks to the patriarchs, and prophets, and psalmists to “fear not.” When angels appear to humankind, their greetings begin with “Do not be afraid.” Jesus teaches his disciples on many occasions to have faith and not fear. St. John the Apostle writes, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).” Likewise St. Paul writes to his friend Timothy, “God did not give us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).” World leaders have influenced the course of history with these very same thoughts. President Franklin D. Roosevelt rallied a nation with “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” And Pope St. John Paul II inspired the world and helped end the Cold War with his frequent encouragement “Do not be afraid.”
This weekend we commemorate two special memorials, one secular and one sacred. On Memorial Day, our nation honors the brave veterans who gave their lives in service of defending our country. And by extension we also honor those still with us who have served or continue to serve to protect us. These men and women overcame fear of bodily harm and death to offer the sacrifice of love for their families, neighbors, and country. May we hold them dear in our prayers and memories!
This weekend also celebrates Pentecost, the end of the Easter season and the history-altering moment when the Holy Spirit descended upon the frightened disciples of Jesus, who were holed-up in hiding. This Spirit replaced their fear with love and joy, giving them courage to take on their missionary work that changed the world.
To overcome fear in our own lives, we must first recognize when it is taking hold of our hearts. When worry and anxiety preoccupy our thoughts and cause us to lose our peace, we realize that fear is in control. When we close down and become paralyzed from taking any positive movement forward in life, we know that fear is in charge. Once we become aware that fear is causing us to lose our peace, we can then redirect our hearts to love. Love for our families, friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens of the world. Love inspires action and motion and giving and connection. Loves leads to faith and trust that we can overcome and persevere. Love brings us to God.
